Three leadership lessons that took my mentee from stuck to promoted

In a recent leadership mentoring session, I worked with a mentee who, like many women I mentor, felt invisible in her male-dominated workplace. Despite her dedication, expertise, and long hours, she had been passed over for leadership roles multiple times. She was frustrated, exhausted, and questioning why her hard work wasn’t being recognized. 

If this resonates with you, then you’re not alone. Many women stepping into leadership roles face this same challenge. Today, I want to walk you through a real case study of how we tackled this issue head-on, and what lessons you can take away from this experience.

The situation: Hard work, no recognition

My mentee, let’s call her Sarah, had been in her role for over a decade. She had consistently gone above and beyond—taking on extra projects, managing her team, and pushing herself. Yet, every time a leadership role opened up, she watched as it was given to someone else—often less experienced and less dedicated.

In our session, she expressed her frustration:

“I’ve worked harder than anyone else here. I’m always available, I take on every project, but it never seems to be enough. What am I doing wrong?”

This is where many high-achieving women find themselves. They believe that if they just keep their heads down and work harder, eventually someone will notice. But Sarah, like many others, was discovering that hard work alone isn’t enough to get you noticed or promoted.

Lesson 1: Leadership starts before the title

The turning point in our session came when I asked Sarah a simple but powerful question:  

“What do you think will change when you finally get that leadership position?”

Her answer was honest:  

“I’ll finally feel validated. It’ll prove that all my hard work has been worth it.”

This is where so many women get stuck—waiting for external validation to feel like they’ve made it. The problem? If you’re waiting for a title to start leading, you’ll always feel like you’re chasing something outside of your control. Leadership starts long before you get the title. It’s about showing up with confidence and owning your role, no matter what your job description says.

Ask yourself: “Am I waiting for a title to feel like a leader, or am I leading right now, where I am?”

Lesson 2: Vision before strategy

Before we could dive into tactics like visibility and networking, we had to get clear on why Sarah wanted to be a leader in the first place. This is a crucial step that’s often overlooked. Too many women feel pressured to climb the corporate ladder without having a solid understanding of what leadership means to them personally or why it matters.

Sarah’s first answer was, “I want more recognition, more money, and to prove that my hard work is worth something.” But as we dug deeper, it became clear that these were surface-level motivations. What really drove her was a desire to create impact—to lead with purpose and help develop others on her team, especially women who faced the same struggles she had.

Once Sarah had a clear vision of what leadership looked like for her, we could focus on how she could start aligning her actions with that vision, rather than just chasing external rewards.

With her vision in place, we then focused on

• Increasing her visibility—speaking up in meetings, leading presentations, and making sure her accomplishments were known by her boss.
• Strategic networking—building relationships with key stakeholders and senior leaders, so she was seen as someone with leadership potential, not just a hard worker behind the scenes.
• Strengthening her communication skills—learning how to express her ideas assertively, ensuring her voice was heard without undermining her natural leadership style.

Ask yourself: “Why do I want to be a leader? What’s driving me beyond the title, and how can I start aligning my actions with that vision?”

Lesson 3: Your value comes from within, not external validation

When Sarah said she wanted the promotion to feel validated, we had to shift her mindset. Waiting for external validation—a title or pay raise—means you’re giving away control of your career. True confidence in leadership comes from knowing your value and leading with it, regardless of your job title.

The shift we made: We worked on identifying Sarah’s strengths and how to lead with them right where she was. She no longer needed a promotion to prove her worth. She was stepping into leadership now, taking charge of her career and showing up as a leader before anyone handed her the official title.

Ask yourself: “Do I know my strengths? How am I using them to lead confidently right now?”

The outcome: Leadership without the title

A few months later, Sarah’s entire outlook had changed. No, she didn’t immediately get the promotion, but that wasn’t the point anymore. She became more visible, more strategic, and more confident in her communication. She was now on the radar of key decision-makers, leading important projects, and—most importantly—leading herself. She was no longer waiting for recognition; she was making it happen.

As Sarah reflected in our follow-up session, she said:  

“I finally feel like I’m in control of my career. I’m not waiting for someone to notice me—I’m showing up as a leader, and people are starting to notice.”

How you can achieve the same transformation

This story is not unique. The struggles Sarah faced—feeling overlooked, frustrated, and stuck—are common for women stepping into leadership roles. But as you’ve seen, the key isn’t working harder; it’s leading smarter.

In my upcoming Women’s Leadership Retreat, we tackle exactly these challenges—how to step into your leadership position, show up with confidence, and balance your professional growth with personal well-being.

You’ll experience a powerful combination of

• Leadership workshops designed to help you create a clear leadership vision, increase visibility, develop strategic relationships, and communicate with confidence
• Yoga and nature experiences that allow you to recharge, find balance, and gain clarity on your leadership journey
• A community of women who understand your challenges and will support you on your leadership path

It’s time to stop waiting for recognition and start stepping into your leadership-self today. If you’re ready for a transformative experience that combines personal growth with professional empowerment, this retreat is for you.